Dentistry as a business

I often think dentists are like garage mechanics. Not that I have anything against auto mechanics. But they have a keen eye for new business. So if you go to get that tail light fixed, the mechanic will notice that your exhaust pipe seems rusted and has a few holes. ‘Perhaps it is time to replace it,’ he will recommend, helpfully, all with your good interests at heart.

My dentist is like that. I cannot imagine why you need to take x-ray pics of your teeth every year, other than to boost the annual revenues of the dental profession. But my hygienist put out five picture tiles on the tray and casually mentioned to me that she will be taking those pictures. This time I was brave. ‘No thanks,’ I said. ‘I will take it next time.’ ‘OK,’ she responded, looking at the chart. ‘It has been a year and a half already, you know.’ ‘Yes,’ I lied through my teeth. ‘I’ve had them taken in India last time I was there.’ ‘Oh, you have had your teeth cleaned since you were last here?’ she asked. Inquisitive one, she was. ‘Yes,’ I said. Another lie. Oh, God!

I was prepared for these and more lies, really. I had been preparing myself all the way from home, since I know the routine now. I don’t think one needs to have the teeth cleaned by the hygienist twice a year, but even I knew that two years was quite a bit. So I had fixed this appointment. Well, she cleaned away, and then called the dentist for a check. I knew what was coming. ‘I see a shadow on #13’ the dentist mumbled. That usually meant they want to do a filling there. The last time, they even removed an existing filling to put a new one. ‘These usually need replacement every few years,’ that one had proffered. Like brake pads?

Then peering around further, the dentist noticed that I had a gap in my lower jaw where a tooth had been pulled out. Over 10 years ago. ‘We can plug that gap, you know. There are some very nice implants these days,’ she offered. I smiled and shook my head. (Every dentist has been trying to plug that gap since then, in vain.) The shadow on #13 proved a dead end for her, too. She left the room mentally delaying that Porsche she has been wanting.