Membership has its privileges

The advantage of Air France, of course, is that they speak French. I mean, they speak French and English, so for a student of French (yours truly), that comes in handy when trying to learn the language. Their magazine is bilingual so you can while away your time trying to figure out how much French you know.

There are brief moments when I enjoy other benefits too. You see, I fly to Aix en Provence once or twice a year to teach. So I accumulate some miles. Their Frequent Flyer program maintains a caste system. You start at the Silver level, then graduate to Gold, Platinum, and then, I’m sure, a higher level that the rest of us don’t know about. When you move from one level to the next (depending on the miles you have accumulated) you get a different color card, and tags for your bags. Of course, a higher caste lets you stand in a separate line to check in, use of their lounge at the airport (internet for a fee, perhaps free at the next level?), and so on.

The funny thing is that since benefits are attached to the level (try entering their lounge with a Silver card and they will call the police), you are now in a quandary and have to make trade-offs. Do you keep the miles and dream about the benefits you would enjoy if you traveled, or do you use the miles to get a free ticket and lose the privileges since you are now at a lower level?

So, I used some miles to get a one-way ticket to Bangalore (no, I am not settling down there yet) and enjoyed the privilege of their lounge in Paris (free food too!), and a Gold card that let me board the flight with the first class passengers. I noticed a difference in my step as I stood in that line. So, there, till they re-calculate my privileges.

But wait, there is a flaw in the system. When you board, you can still flash your Gold card even though you may actually be a lowly Silver. Your caste is supposed to be printed on the boarding card too, but with a crowd pushing behind you like the line at Tirupati, they let you through. It doesn’t work at the Lounge though. There a fellow, with all the time in the world, punches your number into his computer and checks your current status. Police!

But these transcontinental airlines certainly know a few things that the pretenders need to learn. I flew US Airways from Philadelphia to Milan. First, there was an announcement that you could get headphones for $5 or 5 euros. This should have warned me of things to come. (They think $5 is the same as 5 euros!). After paying $1240.55 for the ticket, they now want an additional $5 for headphones. I declined. They must have immediately put a mark against my name. When the meals cart rolled by, I asked for my special meal. The stewardess looked at me (I know those looks) and said let me check. Then she got back saying they did not have any, but I could take the pasta meal they had which was vegetarian anyway. Sure, it was, but floating in cheese!